Trying to Stay Sober when Society Encourages Alcoholism
If you've read my blog then you know I have been struggling with sobriety for a little while now, and though things have been going better it has made me hyper-aware of how society views alcohol.
Being someone who now actively tries to monitor drinking, it gets really hard seeing all of these offers and signs everywhere in the city: HAPPY HOUR 3pm - 6pm, or TRY OUR NEW LAGER, or HAPPY CAESAR DAY : $4.99 CAESARS. It feels like I'm constantly dodging these places because that one caesar or happy-hour drink will turn into shots, which will turn into a blackout.
You'd think I'd be safe from this alcohol-pro propaganda in my home, but I'm not. Every bad day is met with a 'fun' wine related meme wherein moms are encouraged to put their feet up with a Chardonnay after the kids are put down. Other working members of society are encouraged to bond over a drink after a hard day's work. Now, it's another debate entirely to why alcohol is promoted over cannabis to wind down and relax, but I just wish our society encouraged coming to terms with a tough day without ANY substance. My traumas have made it so that my default to anger, sadness, and other overwhelming feelings is to drink about it -- to go to a bar and vent about a problem no one there cares about. The casual mentality towards drinking, excessively or not, is so engrained in our society that it permeates the very way we talk. I'm not sure if Europeans also obsess over liquor in the way we do. Most European countries allow drinking to begin at 16, and maybe it's those few years of freedom that help cultivate a more normal reaction to alcohol, but we certainly have no restraint here.
Thankfully, my friends have been supportive. I am often able to be the sober one without it being weird; with some friends going so far as to encourage me to stay sober by either being completely sober with me, or by limiting their own alcohol intake. These few have truly shown themselves to be huge support systems.
But dating the one aspect of my life that has made sobriety hard. It seems like every dating app has questions like: 'If you could pick any Sunday activity what would it be?' in which the potential suitor responds with, 'Hungover in bed with you,' or 'Bottomless mimosas!!!!' I don't want to download a sober dating app because I don't want to refrain from drinking forever; I eventually want to be able to drink in moderation, but that isn't possible for me right now. It just seems that every first date is encouraged to include alcohol, and I feel like if I suggest something non-alcoholic it's almost a red flag -- a suggestion that I'm screwed up and have a problem. I don't want anyone to feel they would need to change their lifestyle to accommodate me.
Our culture will never treat alcohol differently. It's the only completely legal, non-shameful way people can numb or basically drug themselves (people still look down on weed). I will continue to try my hardest to battle the alcohol propaganda I'm thrown to without constantly being triggered. I hope this mini-rant gives people an idea of how difficult battling an addiction is, especially a legal one.
XOXO,
Cropberry
Being someone who now actively tries to monitor drinking, it gets really hard seeing all of these offers and signs everywhere in the city: HAPPY HOUR 3pm - 6pm, or TRY OUR NEW LAGER, or HAPPY CAESAR DAY : $4.99 CAESARS. It feels like I'm constantly dodging these places because that one caesar or happy-hour drink will turn into shots, which will turn into a blackout.
You'd think I'd be safe from this alcohol-pro propaganda in my home, but I'm not. Every bad day is met with a 'fun' wine related meme wherein moms are encouraged to put their feet up with a Chardonnay after the kids are put down. Other working members of society are encouraged to bond over a drink after a hard day's work. Now, it's another debate entirely to why alcohol is promoted over cannabis to wind down and relax, but I just wish our society encouraged coming to terms with a tough day without ANY substance. My traumas have made it so that my default to anger, sadness, and other overwhelming feelings is to drink about it -- to go to a bar and vent about a problem no one there cares about. The casual mentality towards drinking, excessively or not, is so engrained in our society that it permeates the very way we talk. I'm not sure if Europeans also obsess over liquor in the way we do. Most European countries allow drinking to begin at 16, and maybe it's those few years of freedom that help cultivate a more normal reaction to alcohol, but we certainly have no restraint here.
Thankfully, my friends have been supportive. I am often able to be the sober one without it being weird; with some friends going so far as to encourage me to stay sober by either being completely sober with me, or by limiting their own alcohol intake. These few have truly shown themselves to be huge support systems.
But dating the one aspect of my life that has made sobriety hard. It seems like every dating app has questions like: 'If you could pick any Sunday activity what would it be?' in which the potential suitor responds with, 'Hungover in bed with you,' or 'Bottomless mimosas!!!!' I don't want to download a sober dating app because I don't want to refrain from drinking forever; I eventually want to be able to drink in moderation, but that isn't possible for me right now. It just seems that every first date is encouraged to include alcohol, and I feel like if I suggest something non-alcoholic it's almost a red flag -- a suggestion that I'm screwed up and have a problem. I don't want anyone to feel they would need to change their lifestyle to accommodate me.
Our culture will never treat alcohol differently. It's the only completely legal, non-shameful way people can numb or basically drug themselves (people still look down on weed). I will continue to try my hardest to battle the alcohol propaganda I'm thrown to without constantly being triggered. I hope this mini-rant gives people an idea of how difficult battling an addiction is, especially a legal one.
XOXO,
Cropberry
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